I really need advice PLEASE!?

i was dating and living with my boyfriend for 2yrs. i was very much in love with him. i thought he was my soul mate.He broke up with me at time in my life when i needed him the most. I had just been laid off from a excellent job with a hedge fund in Bermuda prior to that. i thought he would be there for me since i had done the same for him when he lost his job. I also found out i was pregnant but had not told him yet. i was devastated. and ended up having a miscarriage. I lost everything my home my car and the person i loved in period of a few weeks. when he saw i was about to be homeless he let me live with him which was the worst thing i could have done. I found out he was dating someone else. i saw messages of him begging this girl to be with him and she was a horror on top of it. I think i had a nervous breakdown. He always treated me good and was very loving to me i thought we had a love that comes around once in a lifetime. i lost my mind and and smacked him and spit in his face i broke the window on his car and i hated him for a long time time. after all that he agreed to help me pay half of my rent until i found a job. then he moved around the corner from me which was just weird and hurtful.He lied to me and hurt me badly. I stop talking to him completely. we he emailed within a month how are you? let me know you are ok. i couldn't speak to him without losing it and cursing him out because i was so hurt. he would just never go away. then we both changed our numbers and i deleted my fb and my email. I have been missing him a lot lately i cant seem to forget him no matter how hard i try. its been a year since we broke up. should i contact him or just forget him?keep in mind the last time we spoke was 3mos ago and i said very cruel things to him.